Craigzies

As we are planning our move to India. Numerous tasks lie ahead of us, one fundamental and most cumbersome one is, getting rid of all the junk we accumulated collectively over half a decade. Husband swiftly played the “busy” card and the onus of selling all our stuff fell on my shoulders. I braced myself  and decided to embrace the magical world of craigslist.

An inventory list was made and  posted on the good old craigslist. Soon, my inbox was flooded with hundreds of emails. I started communicating with these strangers. Some e – haggling ensued, was stood up by many. Eventually, I sold most of our stuff, which kind of deserves a small pat on the back. During this tremulous time of opening my doors to random strangers, I did receive some responses which well, lets just say deserve a special mention. So, here we go:

It’s all in the name

This lovely email exchange is regarding our car. The lady interested was bound and determined to know my “real” name:

Liz:   hello I was very interested in your vehicle and wondering when I can look at it.

Me:  Can you come today to take a look, what is your availability like?

Liz:  Any reason you have a false name as your account?

Me:  I can show you the car on Wednesday, any time between 9-10 am. I am not sure what you mean by false name on my account.

Liz:  Shreya tiwari? She’s an actor.

Me: Really? Never heard of that. Neways are you interested in the car?

Liz: No I’m not interested in a car with a person who has a fake name.

Sure, there is just one Shreya Tiwari in the whole world and every one else is forbidden to take that name.

Gift you must give

This classy gentleman wanted something I listed for 100 bucks, as a gift for a friend:

Josh:   Thanks for getting back to me,i need this item urgently for someone as a gift,i am offering you $520 for the item including shipping Via USP Express  Mail Service(EMS) , am offering you this to keep other buyers off, so i will like you to get back with your PayPal account email for the payment  immediately and  more over i want to know why you are selling the item because i was introduce to this site by a friend of mine at work. Get Back Asap…

Yes, Josh, pay $520 instead of  $100  and you do not look shady at all!

I am so busy, I send my assistant on craigslist errands

This email might remind you of the time when you got discovered as a worthy heir, as  your uncle in Nigeria passed away and left you all his wealth:

William:

Hello,
How are you doing today? I have gone through your ad once again on craigslist and i am interested in purchasing the above mentioned. I am buying the item for my step son and his wife to be. They are the ones that contacted you at first to know if you still have it.I am paying Via Money Order and it will get to you within 1-2days.Please get back to me with your full information for payment to be sent out immediately i receive it through UPS Delivery Service.

Below are the information required:
Full Name:
Mailing Address (Not P.O Box…FedEx do not deliver to Box):
City :
States :
Zip/Postal Code:
Phone number :

I will like us to get this transaction done with as soon as possible. As soon as i receive your information, I will instruct my assistant to go right away and send the payment to you today. UPS drop box is just a stone throw to to office.I will be offering you $50 extra to hold the item in my favor because i am sure that there will be other interested people.  As per Pick Up, I will make arrangement with my shipping company to come for the pick-up after payment has been received by you.I want you to take the posting off craigslist today and consider it sold to me.

Best Regards.

William

This almost made me choke on my morning tea.

P.S. The names have been changed to protect the craigzies. All the conversations are verbatim

Any craigslist tales out there?

Fascination for Fangs

In one of the usual weekend gatherings, a fun topic came up. My friends started talking about the Twilight series books by Stephenie Meyer.

Poster of the 1931 classic, Dracula

Friend:               “Have you read those books ? ”

Me:                      “Absolutely” (eyes lit up )

Friend:               “Hmm” ( brows puckered in a frown)

Me:                      “But they are so much fun!!”

Friend:               “I can never make myself read those books”

End of discussion.

Me :         (Frown face)

So, I was shamed by my friends for being bitten by the Vampire bug. I decided not to express my love for the genre without fathoming if  the other person is a fellow admirer too. Once bitten twice shy and all…[no pun intended]

My predilection to this genre started on a long long flight to India. I was in a hurry to board the flight and grabbed the first book I laid my eyes on (bookstore being a Twilight storage house helped). I couldn’t keep my eyes off it for the entire flight and was done before stepping on to the next continent.  Craving to get hold of the sequel. I ended up finishing all the four books before reaching back to Boston.

Disclaimer: I am in no way saying that these books are literary gems, actually far from it. They are just fun being unintentionally funny.

Let’s move on to the TV shows and movies.There seem to be  a flood of vampire shows and movies these days.Vampires are in vogue …

The reasons are obvious, new age vampires are far from your regular mythical 30’s daemons, who live in moldy dungeons, in a shabby coffin and suck the life out of pretty girls.They are glittery,  glamorous and posses deathless good looks and decadent sexuality.They have fancy cars,  do not run away from  garlic and are equipped with latest gadgets, if you will.They are  romantics who pine for love like their mortal companions.Then, there are evil vampires , who are equally pretty. Who can resist seeing a Vampire with thick English accent  saying “Wana see how fast I can text “motherf*$$r?”.  Throw in the sexy werewolves, of the likes of Taylor Lautner  in the mix and I am sold! (Team Jacob all the way) .

The truth is , these books and shows take  you away from reality  and let you live in their mystical world. Drive you away from your mundane life into the world of invulnerability, eternal youth and,  renew your flirtations with the dark side. There are more realistic monsters in our day to day life and if  I can get my  reprieve from them  every Sunday for 1 hour, that’s good enough for me.